My family, so goddamn real

Just seen on Facebook:

A friend of mine who showed me the value of stubborn last year has just described the kinds of people they want to thank for having been there all this time for them.

I want to do something along the same lines: that is to say, thank those who were good for me in 2017.

Mainly people who were not family, with a handful of notable exceptions.

The people who really hurt me last year were, in fact, quite bewilderingly, members of a family which has always tried to get me put away for the way I think; which has never tried to understand my true value to this world, nor what this value implies; which lately has proactively done all it can to target my future and my ability to make my own way on this rock; and which, above all, has operated as one to drag me back into a gutter they once had me face down in.

I may never manage entirely to get up and out from that gutter I once was deposited in, of course.  But I shall do my very best to achieve this goal of personal liberty, despite their continuing attempts to ensure otherwise.  And whether the gutter is ultimately to be mine or not, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde: “I shall always look up and see the stars.” 

The stars are not my family, except for my children.  The stars are the friends, made primarily last year in so very many different contexts – but also out there since way back when: friends, all, who have been able to see something of utility in what I do, where for so long my parental family – and concertedly beyond – did everything they possibly could to destroy my intellectual and emotional freedoms.

It is awful, quite awful I tell you, to grow up from childhood with people you expect to be able to trust; to be perceptive and right about the realities you sense; and for precisely these people you trust to be precisely those with the biggest, most persistent and most consistent agendas about you.

To anyone else who may recognise their own situation in the above, please now follow my advice: listen to your heart and your soul, and reject forthwith those who claim to know better, where this better they claim to know involves them taking zero ownership for their positions.

When you feel something ain’t right, then remember this: it probably ain’t.

To all my real family out there: thank you for 2017.  To all my agenda-plagued family out there, just forget me in 2018.


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